Get Better Attached
For Couples, Partners, and Singles
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The test has 36 questions. When making the test, only think of attachment relationships respectively attachment partners!
1. If a potential partner tells me that he (she) no longer wants to see me, it hurts me a lot, but I feel at the same moment that I will get over it.
TrueUntrue
2. When we have a problem, the following thought makes me feel very relieved: "The most important thing is that we can talk about it as soon as possible and then we will be close again".
3. I'm often afraid that a person won't like me when (s)he finds out who I really am.
4. If there's a problem in my relationship, I'd rather withdraw first. I'm usually kind of relieved when my partner just leaves things alone.
5. I don't like situations where my partner's well-being depends on me.
6. My independence is actually more important to me than my relationship.
7. After an argument I am quickly open for a clarifying talk, if my (dating) partner comes and wants to speak about it as quickly as possible.
8. If there are difficulties in the relationship, it is easy for me to address them openly and promptly.
9. I believe most people are essentially honest and reliable.
10. It's easy for me to be affectionate with my partner.
11. When I reveal my feelings to my partner, I fear that he (she) does not have the same feelings for me.
12. I find it quickly burdening to support my partner emotionally when he (she) feels bad.
13. I'm always worried about whether I'm attractive enough as a partner.
14. I always think a lot about whether a partner really loves me.
15. It rarely happens to me that I "use" my partner to unload my negative feelings (stress, tensions).
16. I feel incomplete somehow and faster insecure when I'm not in a relationship.
17. It won't be extremely difficult for me to have occasional contact with my ex-partner (purely platonic, of course) - after all, we have a lot in common.
18. My partner sometimes wants to be much closer to me than I would like to be, that was also true in previous partnerships.
19. I feel tense (nervous) when my partner gets too close.
20. It worries me that I could never find a new partner again if my current partner leaves me.
21. I prefer not to share my innermost feelings with my partner.
22. After arguing with my partner, I usually don't question our relationship in general, even if it was about major topics ().
23. I have little difficulty expressing my needs and wishes to my partner.
24. I find it difficult to allow feelings of dependence in partnerships.
25. In general, I am satisfied with my relationships.
26. I feel comfortable sharing my personal thoughts and feelings with my partner.
27. I feel comfortable with the idea of a romantic partner and am not afraid of dependency.
28. I spend a lot of time thinking about relationships I have with persons close to me (or important ones at the moment).
29. In case of irritation and problems, I find it disturbing if the partner comes immediately back at it, tries to be near and has to talk about it.
30. During a conflict I tend to say or do things that I later regret rather than pause and think.
31. If my partner isn't there, I'm worried if he (she) might be interested in someone else.
32. I tend to quickly commit to a potential partner.
33. Sometimes, when I actually get what I want from a relationship, I suddenly no longer know what I really want.
34. I react sensitively to deteriorations in my partner's mood and quickly feel insecure.
35. If we're not together, I miss my partner. But when we're together, I feel the need to keep the partner at a certain distance.
36. I think I can recover very quickly from a breakup. I quickly manage to get someone out of my thoughts.
